Songs About Us
by various crimes
Summary: A cute little song fic idea that may be added to later. No plot. Implied sexual relationship. SanzoxGoku GojyoxHakkai
1. Cold

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Here is an edited version of the first chapter, hope you all like the changes, I got a lot of help from an amazing FF writer ~ Thank you Pixieblade

Oh and I cut out the chorus, so as not to be too repetitive.

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**Cold (But I'm Still Here)**

**"Hello, I'm your martyr, will you be my gangster  **

**Can you feel my trigger hand, moving further down your back?**

  Sanzo stretches out his pale blood stained hands to the hated being. He who is shadowed and sitting in a filthy state behind bonelike bars. As he lifts a thin arm ensnared in cold biting iron he reaches out and is pulled to his feet by this gilded angel. He declares, if only to himself, that he will follow  this holy sinner down any road.   

**When you hide, hide inside that body**

 **But just remember that when I touch you **

**The more you shake, the more you give away**  

Goku is accosted by too many feelings at once. How can he be so happy and so scared at the same time? He was afraid of losing him, afraid of doing something wrong  and earning his abhorrence. He wants to give everything he has to Sanzo but by  doing so he may show a side of himself that displeases the only one who matters to him.

  **Cold, but I'm still here **

**Blind, 'cause I'm so blind**

 **Say never **

**We're far from comfortable this time**  

The rain crashes outside and oozes down the windowpane like glistening drops  of blood. He hates weather like this. The crash of lightning and sinking  darkness makes him remember someone…remembering death and how he should  embrace it instead of this false hope that shines in golden eyes. He never  should have laid eyes on him; he should have left him to rot on that  mountaintop.

**Cold, now we're so cold,  **

**Mine, and you're not mine,  **

**Say never **

**We're far from obvious this time**

  Something is grating on Sanzo's nerves. Goku can feel it, like thunderclouds moving in quickly with the violent wind; blocking out the sun. He knew things would fall apart as soon as he got loose; something always goes wrong after all.   

**Wait, another minute here, time will kill us after all  **

His diadem breaks with each passing doubt. His hair lengthens and his eyes  turn into slits of glowing fury. He attacks with clawed hands; loosing himself  completely.   

**Can you feel its second hand wrapped around your neck?**   

Sanzo falls but his eyes gleam with a new light, a soft purple haze that  wants to survive and live just a little longer. He won't let this beat him.   

**Fall into my eyes fall into my lies.**

 Goku screams, the sound tinged with terror and rage and longing. He hates his mask of lies as much as he needs them. The diadem glows back into life,  shimmering beneath his golden-brown mane.

  **But don't you forget **

 **The more you turn away, the more I want you to stay  **

How many times had Sanzo threatened to leave him? How many times had he denied all that the world offered them? But he never could get very far, not  with Goku on his heels.   

**You're so endearing,**

 **You're so beautiful,**   

Goku's energy and laugh remind Sanzo to breathe; to taste freedom and life  and love.

  Sanzo, glorious glowing Sanzo, whose physical beauty is nothing to his inner strength and power of will; He is the only one who would dare to free the heretical demon they all claimed he was. But did they truly deserve one  another?   

**Well I don't look like they do, and I don't love like they do **

**But I don't hate like they do **

**Am I ever on your mind?   **

The same thoughts haunt them and shape a thick atmosphere around them. They look at each other without expectations. All they can do now is live.

  **Cold, but I'm still here,**   

The world may fall to ruin about their feet but Goku will always be with him. Sanzo is his savior in spirit as much as flesh and love for that freedom is dims in comparison to the utter calm that wraps around him in his presence. To him Sanzo means peace.   

**Blind, 'cause I'm so blind,**

  Sanzo wastes so much time running from shadows that he almost fails to see such an important individual, the one who had been hidden in a small dark place like a carefully guarded secret, just waiting to be told.   

**Say never **

**We're far from comfortable this time**  

They were too stubborn to speak the words that they both needed to hear.  Deafness comes in all forms after all.   

**Cold, now we're so cold,  **

**Mine, and you're not mine,  **

**Say never **

**We're far from obvious this time**  

At long last Goku shatters the silence because there is nothing worse than being alone. All he can do is pray. Hope and pray.   

**COLD, you broke me from the very first night **

**I'd love you 'til the day that I die**

**I'm far too comfortable this time**

  Sanzo's fingers send warmth cascading over Goku, stroking his very core. Between heaven and earth they lay panting and shuddering under the lightest of touches. Naturally they would wind up fighting the darkness together through a dawning passion.

**COLD, I loved you from the very first night**

**You broke me 'til the day that I  die** 

He never thought he would love. But watching his ashen hand caress sun-darkened skin and noticing the effect he has on him, he realizes exactly how wrong he had been.

**I'm far too obvious this time**

Earth and Heaven, Sun and Moon, Light and Darkness…are meaningless, if they are not together. He smiles as they remember how to breathe.   

**Fin**


	2. The Fantasy

Author's Note: This one is dedicated to Gojyo and Hakkai. The song is called The Fantasy by 30 Seconds to Mars. The POV is mostly Hakkai. Same warning: no plot

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Walking down the streets with hands shoved in pockets just letting the rain slither over that long red hair. Every day and every night blur right into the next. How can this night possibly be any different?

_With the lights out it's never less dangerous_

_Even with a stranger never gets painless_

_Don't be afraid (afraid, afraid)_

Another bar with cards, smokes, and drinks. Another woman to keep the bed warm but there is nothing more. Does she know that your heart is bleeding every time she looks into your garnet eyes? That your cocky grin is about as stable as I am?

_Every time I think I'm gonna change it (think I'm gonna change it, think I'm gonna change it)_

_It's driving me (driving me) insane (insane)_

_(Yeah, yeah, yeah) _

But then you spot me lying helpless in the mud and you think you shouldn't leave me to drown in a pool of filthy blood. You save me even while I am begging for death.

_Do you live, do you die, do you bleed _

_For the fantasy_

_In your mind, through your eyes, do you see_

_It's the fantasy _

A different man shimmering in angelic beauty and grace is ready to take me away and punish me for my sins. I know that I can't stay but-

_Maybe tonight we can forget about it all _

_It could be just like heaven_

_I am a machine_

_No longer living, just a shell of what I dreamed_

_(Yeah, yeah, yeah)_

We sit at your little table. It's late and the ashtray needs to be cleaned out. I am almost fully healed and I feel restless. Sleep keeps skirting around the outside of the house and our eyes stray toward the bed.

_Do you live, do you die, do you bleed_

_For the fantasy_

_In your mind, through your eyes, do you see_

_It's the fantasy_

_Say it, say it, and say that you believe_

_Say it, say it to me_

You're not my Kanan and I'm not one of your mystery women.

_ooh-ah-ah-oh (ooh-ah-ah-oh)_

_ooh-ah-ah-ah-oh (ooh-ah-ah-ah-oh)_

_ooh-ah-ah-oh (ooh-ah-ah-oh)_

_ooh-ah-ah-ah-oh- _

Somehow we can get passed the past . . . at least it should be possible.

_Do you live, do you die, do you bleed_

_For the fantasy_

_Automatic, I imagine, I believe_

The yellow haired man and his companion spare my life. It seems you're not the only one who thinks I'm worth saving despite being a murderer. I can still see her through the metal bars. It won't open. Her cold hands slip from my grasp as she takes away my knife and-

_Do you live_

_Do you die_

_Do you bleed_

_For the fantasy_

Huh, you and I both know how cruel women can be. They think we are not capable of loving them. So where does that leave us?

_Do you live, do you die, do you bleed_

_For the fantasy_

_In your mind, through your eyes, do you see_

_It's the fantasy_

_Automatic, i imagine i believe_

_Automatic, i imagine i believe_

You carried me to your home for a reason.

_Say it, say it, say that you believe_

_(Automatic, i imagine i believe)_

_Say it, say it to me_

_(Automatic, i imagine i believe)_

_Say it, say it, say that you believe_

_(Automatic, i imagine i believe)_

_Say it, say it to me_

_Automatic, i imagine i believe_

_I believe, I believe, I believe _

See within the cards there are four people. The King. The Queen. The Jack. The Joker. Your life was never meaningless.


	3. Road to Nowhere

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This will be very confusing if you have not seen multiple episodes of Saiyuki. Sorry that I'm random like that. The Song is called Road To Nowhere by Bullet For My Valentine and the story is written for the main crew!

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_Road to Nowhere_

**Tired and lonely still we stand, **

**On a road to nowhere.**

**Trapped in a world of endless days, my engine's stalling.**

**(Road to nowhere)**

The car lets out a gurgling chirp. The driver runs a hand back and forth on the top of the steering wheel. Peeking at the man seated next to him, he gasps softly, because he is sleeping. _On this bumpy terrain? Come to think of it, this is the first time, ever, that the priest has slept in the car. _Frowning, he concentrates on the road again. He chances a glance into the mirror to find everyone asleep. _So that's why it was so quiet_. His eyes glaze over, as he thinks of a different road, in an entirely different time. He would be clutching two brown paper grocery bags instead of a leather wheel. His long hair would tangle at the back of his neck, causing him to smile full of teeth. He would open the door of his home, hurriedly place his groceries on the kitchen table, and hasten to a back room where she would be. Her arms would wrap around his neck as her fingers roughly slid into his brown hair, getting caught. Giggling into his mouth she would do her utmost to fix the knots.

**Body and mind are breaking down, **

**On a road to nowhere.**

**Destiny silent, hear no sound, as I wait forever.**

He woke with a loud snore. _Where am I? Oh right, the crappy jeep. No offense Hakuryu._ Even though they have been traveling for a long time, it feels the same, immobile. _Why did my very first friend have to go? He was an amazing . . . Prince._ All those that he cared about went down to the earth, forgetting about him until he too was sentenced to time on earth. Only he was not free to roam but was instead locked up on a tall mountain. Eventually someone rescued him, but that doesn't mean that he missed his friend any less. _Nataku, You and I will always be the same. Someday I'll talk to him about you, just not yet. _

**Farewell, I miss you**

**I'm sick of these good byes**

**Cause it tore us apart, right from the start**

**I miss you.**

"Stop teasing me Master." The young charge glared up with icy purple eyes.

"But you really would make the perfect Sanzo." He answered with a sly look in his eye.

"There's already a great Sanzo, geez, like anyone would bow to some river rat-"

"Hmm." He made a non-committal noise in his throat.

"Are you even listening?"

"Of course." He dropped his cigarette and stomped on it with the heel of his sandal, "Just as I'm sure others will, now hurry up with sweeping those leaves so we can play."

"Whose the kid here?" The older man wrapped an arm around thin shoulders giving a brief squeeze.

"Everything will be fine as long as one of us is mature."

A tear leaked out of the corner of the sleeping man's eye.

**Feelings that filled me left me cold**

**On this road to nowhere**

**(Road to Nowhere)**

_You didn't have to you know? You didn't have to kill your own mother for my sake! I- I would rather have died then witnessed that. I can't blame you for leaving me afterwards, but I can for saving me, you freaking idiot. When I see you again, I'm gonna- I'm gonna - I don't even know what! Brother, just stay wherever you are, just stay away. It's better that way._

**Dreams are my saviors, save me now, cause I know I'm fallin'**

**(Oh yeah)**

"I'm finished." A small smile unconsciously works it way up the blond boy's face.

"Alright! The last one there has to cook!" The man took off, even in what appeared to be a restraining outfit, the white robes billowing out just at the sleeves.

"Where are we racing to!"

"Too late!"

"Huh? Master that's not fair you cheated!"

**Farewell, I miss you**

**I'm sick of these good byes**

**Cause it tore us apart, right from the start**

**I miss you.**

He remembered it like it was yesterday and not years and years ago._ I don't care what that bastard made you do Nataku._ But Nataku despised himself because of his job as the Prince of War, and there was nothing that Goku could do to change his mind.

**Candles burn slowly, flames shine so brightly.**

**Light in the darkness, save me from madness again.**

_Really I don't need a family, not with how mother treated me. I don't know if I can be grateful . . . to you brother._

There was a time when all the dark brown haired man wanted was to pass away, like his love. He could not protect her, after everything she had done . . . no become for him, he had failed her. However, an annoying bystander had different plans for him. A man with blood-red hair picked him, like a flower, and nurtured him back to health.

_Brother, I've discovered the value of life. So yeah, thanks._

**Only the lonely, can possibly know me.**

**Heat keeps on rising, fire engulfs me again.**

**Keeps on rising.**

"SANZO!" With that exclamation everyone awakens.

"God do you ever shut up?"

"But Sanzooooooooooooooooooo!"

"What?"

"You said we'd go get food! You're not being fair!" The blond man clenched his fist on his lap breathing heavily through his nose.

"You're right we're going there."

"Where?" He only smiled in response.

Goku crossed his arms over his chest and looked to the side. Fine, Sanzo could keep his secrets, for now anyway.

**Farewell, I miss you**

**I'm sick of these good byes**

**Cause it tore us apart, right from the start**

**I miss you.**

_My sweet Kanan, I have shorter hair, I use a comb and. . . I'm no longer alone._

_Nataku, you'd be so proud of me!_

_Master, I have no idea how you put up with me. _

_Hey Bro, it seems that you've fallen into a good crowd, like me, I'm happy for you man. Mom, sayonara. _

**Farewell, I miss you**

**I'm sick of these good byes**

**Cause it tore us apart, right from the start**

**I miss you.**

Despite all the shouting, the men confined in the jeep are content, because they are living for the living. The man driving feels a hand on his shoulder; the one who makes him experience so many emotions is behind him. The grumpy man upfront next to him can't hide his pleasure whenever the loud one in the back acts childish, and said kid always keeps everyone on track. _Hakuryu it couldn't be better ne?_

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SECOND AUTHOR'S NOTE: I made Goku remember his life in heaven, I do not think he does so in the manga/anime but I could be wrong . . . anyway I hope you all liked this!


	4. Where Time Stands Still

The song is called Anthem of the Angels by Breaking Benjamin (from the new album yay!). This little fic is not for the Sanzo party but rather for Kougaiji. Pairing: slight KougaijixYaone. It's always grey at Houtou Castle.

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**Where Time Stands Still**

_White walls surround us_

_No light will touch your face again_

_Rain taps the window_

_As we sleep among the dead_

_Days go on forever_

_But I have not left your side_

_We can chase the dark together_

_If you go, then so will I_

Standing just outside the door, holding her breath and clenching one hand above her heart, the healer silently listened in on her lord. She knew that she should not be doing this, but his whispered cries tore at her soul. This is the room that no one was allowed to enter, not even his little sister, Miss Lirin. Craning her neck she peered into the almost sacred room. His back was to her, he stood straight and tall, and yet his hands were fiercely clenched, arms falling at his sides, the long nails drawing a thin stream of blood that dripped onto the bare tiles. He faced a woman trapped behind a wall of glass.

_There is nothing left of you_

_I can see it in your eyes_

_Sing the anthem of the angels_

_And say the last goodbye_

He softly called out to her over and over, his knees shaking with guilt.

Mother, he said in pain and determination. She was his true mother and not the woman currently desecrating the throne. She did not respond, she could not, as she was encased in a watery cocoon only keeping her body animate, frozen in place.

_Cold light above us_

_Hope fills the heart_

_And fades away_

_Skin white as winter_

_As the sky returns to grey_

_Days go on forever_

_But I have not left your side_

_We can chase the dark together_

_If you go, then so will I_

Yaone felt herself beginning to cry so she muffled a choked sob and quickly walked away, hoping that he would not notice her spying. She kept moving down the hallways no longer watching where she was going as tears cascaded down alabaster cheeks. Suddenly she fell to her knees supporting her weight on her fists and weeping uncontrollably. That is how Dokugakuji found her.

_There is nothing left of you_

_I can see it in your eyes_

_Sing the anthem of the angels_

_And say the last goodbye_

_I keep holding onto you_

_But I can't bring you back to life_

_Sing the anthem of the angels_

_Then say the last goodbye_

For a long time Dokugakuji felt like he was acting like some sort of rope between Kougaiji and Yaone for surely without him, their relationship would have fallen apart. She was much too shy and indebted to her Lord and he ignored his feelings, obsessing over his dream, to revive his mother. Dokugakuji took her hand helping her to her feet and leading her to where their master resided. He banged on the door with his other hand never letting Yaone go.

"Kou, we need to talk." He spoke in a low growl as soon as the door opened a crack.

"Come in."

"Look, we want to help you in any way we can." He stated dropping her hand and lifting both of his palms up in supplication.

"And what, pray tell, did you two have in mind?"

"Lord Kougaiji, I may not be a highly skilled doctor, but you must know that you can come to me and tell me any problems you may have, talking eases the mind, and you need to take care of that as well as your body."

"Yeah man, listen to the lady, you're like a walking dead guy."

He froze staring at his friends.

_You're dead alive_

_You're dead alive_

_You're dead alive_

_You're dead alive_

The words pounded through his skull. Yes he had been - distant, but that did not mean that he did not respond to daily life. The way they phrased it, it's as if he's unaware, unfit to even rule. A warm hand gently gripped his arm above the elbow, Yaone looked up at him with nothing but concern. They weren't trying to judge him; they were genuinely worried about his health, and his future.

_There is nothing left of you_

_I can see it in your eyes_

_Sing the anthem of the angels_

_And say the last goodbye_

_I keep holding onto you_

_But I can't bring you back to life_

_Sing the anthem of the angels_

_Then say the last goodbye_

_Sing the anthem of the angels_

_Then say the last goodbye_

_Sing the anthem of the angels_

Even with Yaone and Dokugakuji, it is not enough. Though he could always depend on them and even more so on the first, Now that he knows the depths of her feelings for him. But he still needed to do more, to try harder to rescue the woman who brought him into this world.

Again he gazed into his mother's clouded eyes and looked at her earrings, the same ones that he wore on his own ears. He pinched the thick silver between his thumb and forefinger feeling the smooth, yet sturdy texture. It would take a lot to dent or break such jewelery. Turning on his heel, he confidently strode to the massive building where the dragons were housed. As he mounts a dragon Yaone appears, loosely holding onto the saddle's girth.

"Are you still planning on going?"

"Yes."

"Then I'll go to."

"The mission is to kill, Yaone, even the healer on their side, we must get that scripture at all costs; Do you understand?"

"Yes my Lord."

Fin


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